In the news...

Ok, so during my time in high school and college, I knew some people who did ridiculous things, and I may have even partaken in some pretty borderline activities myself.  Those stories may very well never see print, because I don't want my kids thinking, Oh Dad got drunk and then rode around on the hood of a car going 50 miles per hour on a dare and he turned out okay... And that is one of the more PG-rated tales I have to tell.  Here's something I wish I had done.  If you haven't seen this video, what have you been doing with your life?  No really, what?

What's my point?  Well, I've been reading lots of child care books lately (okay, skimming.   What's your fucking point?), and they tell you to do this, do that, do this, and hopefully your child will be a fully functioning 6 month old.  Ok great, I know we're taking baby steps here (actually not for another 8-10 months but anyway...) but why not cut to the chase and tell me how to get my daughter to be a fully functioning 20 year old.  And by fully functioning, I guess I mean not ever pregnant until at least after college.  I suppose I have some other items on the wish list: no tattoos, no piercings in places other than ears, oh, no stripping please god... There was a Chris Rock sketch I guess ten years ago: "how do you know you've succeeded as a father to your daughter?  You managed to keep her off the stripper pole."  

No, but really, what's my point?  Here, I'll tell you.  I was reading the news today and I came across one of the worst stories for a father of a daughter to read ever.  Twenty or so girls in a shithole Massachusetts town (really narrowing that down for you, huh?) high school, none over the age of 16, made a pact to get pregnant and raise their children together.  As more and more girls got pregnant, the remaining ones got desperate to the point that one of the fathers is a 24 year old homeless dude.  Score for him, I guess.  But that is just some fantastic judgment.  Apparently, they all come from awful broken home environments--hang one a second while I go hug my daughter and kiss my wife in front of her, okay I'm back.  

Oh really Time Magazine, they have home-life issues?  That is some outstanding reporting, about the level that I'm accustomed to expecting from you.  Time Magazine really sucks, by the way.  No offense if you read Time, but people who read Time are morons.