Friday, June 27, 2008

End of Days...

There is a lot of stuff going on right now that, if you were so inclined, you could use to convince people that the end is near, the sky is a-fixin' to fall, that sort of thing.  So, you start a cult, convince your followers to give you all their money and possessions--the world is fucking ending people, that money in your savings account isn't going to help you--and serve everyone some anti-freeze flavored Gatorade.  Presto!  You're rich.  Not that I've given this any thought, I'm just saying... so fuck off FBI!

The American economy is really, really fucked.  This is going to be one of the worst years for the average American in a long time.  The Dow Jones Industrial Average lost almost 3% yesterday, capping a month of getting horse-pounded.  The reason?  Well, oil, which I've already discussed a while back, and a bad combination of inflation and low interest rates.  For starters, oil is not going to get cheaper.  You can drill the Alaskan reserve or the US coastlines until you're blue in the face and the Pacific coast is as filthy as the Jersey shore, but it doesn't matter.  China and India have discovered that they like oil, and at this point we're just along for the ride.  

Next, you have Fed Funds at 2%, and inflation on the rise thanks to, yes you guessed it--oil!--and you have negative growth  (If prices increase at a higher rate than your money can grow in the bank or your wages are growing, that is really, really bad and means you can afford to buy less stuff and/or your standard to living goes down).  So to combat inflation, the Fed has stopped lowering interest rates, and this week indicated that they may soon increase them.  Well, that is textbook for fighting inflation, but now stocks are going to take a huge shit, because corporations can't borrow money as cheaply, so their profits decrease.  Higher interest rates in theory encourage you to save more money.  This means there's less money chasing the same amount of goods, so inflation should abate.  However, it also diverts investment away from equities.  So long story short, the stock market is going to take a beating.  I wouldn't buy anything.  This is going to be an rare example of when stocks and bonds both get hammered.  Honestly, my best investment right now is my Lexus Hybrid and my 75 bottles or so of good wine.

What else is fucked up?  Floods everywhere, the Midwest of the US and parts of Australia, coupled with crippling droughts in both countries, mere hundreds of miles away from the floods.  And that's not even mentioning the floods in Asia, because those seem to be a yearly occurrence so it might be more remarkable if parts of Asia weren't submerged and China wasn't having massive earthquakes.  

But what has really convinced me that the end is coming is that Chicago sports teams are doing what I'd like them to.  Yesterday, the Bulls drafted Derrick Rose with their super-lucky 1st pick in the draft.  That is a great pick!  I think Rose will be one of the three best NBA players in five years from now, so I am very excited by the prospect of him being a Bull.  I was sure that Chicago would find some reason to draft someone else, or trade the pick, or something typically asinine.  This also means bye-bye Kirk Hinrich, the Bulls' current way, way too white point guard who sucks.  Hallelujah!  Pass the Gatorade!  And if that's not enough, the Cubs have the best record in all of baseball half-way through the season, and if that's not enough, the Bears are totally fucked!

The economy may suck and there may be natural disasters all around, but providing the world can hold its shit together and not end in the next few years, it should be a good time for Chicago sports.


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