"Honey," my wife asks, "won't you take out the trash?"
"No sweetheart, the future of our country is at stake!"
I wanted so badly to like McCain and vote for him, but I absolutely can't. He is such a cynical, old, tired, old, same-old, same-old, typical, old, Republican, old, douche bag. If President Obama sends me a bill for a bit more in taxes than great-grandpa John would, so be it.
Clearly, McCain realized he was going to get chewed up and spit out at the debate this Friday, so he had to find an ingenious way to get out of it. This is pathetic. Perhaps his 100 year old mom can write him a note:
"Dear United States of America,
Young Johnny wasn't feeling well today. He had quite the fever. Reminds me of when my sister got the plague and George Washington healed her.
Please excuse him from the debate.
Oh look, I've pooped my pants!
Had McCain taken the time to figure out the internet and discover email, perhaps he'd realize that he could communicate with Congressional leaders that way. Instead, he just yells, "Hello? Operator?" at a laptop someone put in front of him to make him look like less of a dinosaur. But really John, that LCD light makes your botox pretty obvious.
I think the reason that I am so frustrated and upset with McCain's performance, from picking Palin, to blatantly stealing Obama's "change" platform, to excusing himself from debating, is that I really wanted to like him. I wanted to be a Republican just like most of my peers. But John, your lackluster display leaves me no choice: GO OBAMA!